The Period Talk: A Gentle Guide to Telling Your Parents You Started Your Period

Getting your first period is a significant milestone in a young person’s life. It’s a sign that your body is growing and changing, and while it’s a natural part of life, it can also feel a bit overwhelming, even confusing. One of the most daunting parts of this experience can be figuring out how to tell your parents. It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous, shy, or unsure about how to approach this conversation. However, remember that your parents were once your age, and they’ve likely been expecting this. They are the people who love and care for you the most and are there to support you through this journey. This comprehensive guide will walk you through the steps to help make this conversation as comfortable and stress-free as possible.

Understanding Your Feelings

Before we dive into the ‘how-to,’ let’s acknowledge that it’s completely okay to have a wide range of emotions about starting your period. Some common feelings include:

• Excitement: It’s a sign of growing up and entering a new phase of life.
• Nervousness: This is a big change, and it’s normal to be anxious about how to talk about it.
• Shyness: Discussing personal bodily changes can feel awkward.
• Confusion: You might not fully understand what’s happening or what to expect.
• Embarrassment: Talking about menstruation can sometimes feel embarrassing, especially if it’s not something you’ve discussed openly before.

Recognize that whatever you’re feeling is valid. There is no right or wrong way to feel about this. Taking the time to acknowledge these feelings will help you approach the conversation with greater confidence. It’s also helpful to remember that your parents were once your age and most likely experienced similar feelings.

Preparing for the Conversation

Preparation is key to feeling more comfortable and confident when talking to your parents. Here’s what you can do to prepare:

1. Educate Yourself

The more you understand about your period, the more comfortable you’ll feel discussing it. Research basic information about:

• What is menstruation? Understand the biological process of your menstrual cycle.
• What to expect: Learn about common symptoms like cramps, mood swings, and irregular flow.
• Sanitary products: Familiarize yourself with different options like pads, tampons, and menstrual cups.
• Period tracking: Look into ways to track your period and understand your cycle.

You can find reliable information from websites like Planned Parenthood, educational websites, or books at your school library. Understanding the process will not only make you feel more in control but also help you answer any questions your parents might have.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

The setting and timing of this conversation can significantly impact how comfortable you feel. Avoid trying to bring this up when your parents are stressed, distracted, or in a public place. Instead, consider these points:

• Privacy: Choose a time when you can talk one-on-one without interruptions. Your bedroom or living room when no one else is home can be good options.
• Relaxed atmosphere: Pick a moment when everyone is calm and relaxed. Dinner time (if it’s calm in your family) or a quiet evening might work well.
• Avoid urgency: Don’t rush into the conversation. Take a deep breath and ensure you feel prepared.

3. Plan What You Want to Say

Having a plan can make you feel more prepared and less anxious. You don’t need to write a script, but thinking about what you want to say beforehand can help you stay calm and collected during the conversation. Consider these points:

• Start simple: You could start by saying, “I think I started my period” or “I need to talk to you about something that happened.”
• Be direct: Try not to beat around the bush. The more direct you are, the less awkward it will feel.
• Ask questions: You might want to ask for help getting supplies, advice on managing symptoms, or just general reassurance.
• Prepare for reactions: Think about how your parents might react and what questions they might have. This can make you feel more prepared to handle their response.

4. Decide Who You’ll Talk to

If you have two parents or guardians, you might not feel comfortable talking to both of them at once. Consider which parent you feel more comfortable talking to. This could be the parent who is:

• A woman: If you’re more comfortable talking to a woman, your mother or a female guardian may be your first choice.
• More approachable: Consider which parent you find easier to communicate with about personal topics.
• Supportive: Think about who has historically been more supportive and understanding of your needs.

If you’re not comfortable talking to either of your parents, consider talking to another adult you trust such as an aunt, older sibling, a school nurse, or teacher.

Steps to Having the Conversation

Now that you’ve prepared, here’s a step-by-step guide to actually having the conversation:

Step 1: Initiate the Conversation

Start by gently bringing up the topic. Some examples of how you might start the conversation are:

• “Mom/Dad, I need to talk to you about something that happened to me today.”
• “I think I started my period, and I wanted to let you know.”
• “Can we talk about something private?”

The key here is to be clear but also gentle. Try to use a calm and steady voice.

Step 2: Explain What Happened

After initiating the conversation, explain to your parent or guardian what happened. Don’t be afraid to use the word ‘period’ or ‘menstruation’. Be as direct as you feel comfortable being. You could say something like:

• “I noticed some spotting on my underwear, and I think it’s my period.”
• “I started bleeding, and I’m pretty sure it’s my period.”
• “I think I got my period. I found some blood on my underwear today.”

Remember, your parents have most likely been through this themselves, and they probably expect this to happen at some point.

Step 3: Express Your Needs

Once you’ve shared the news, express what you need from them. This might include:

• Supplies: Ask for pads, tampons, or any other sanitary products you’d like to try. For example, “Could we go to the store to get some pads and things?”
• Advice: Ask questions about managing symptoms like cramps or mood swings. For example, “Do you have any tips for dealing with cramps?”
• Reassurance: If you’re feeling worried or unsure, ask for reassurance. For example, “Is this normal? Will it always be like this?”

It’s perfectly normal to need guidance, and your parents are likely eager to help.

Step 4: Answer Their Questions

Your parents might have questions for you. Try your best to answer them honestly and openly. They might ask:

• When did you first notice it?
• How are you feeling?
• Do you need anything from the store?

If you’re unsure about the answers, it’s okay to say you don’t know. You and your parents can learn together about what to expect moving forward.

Step 5: Follow Up If Necessary

The conversation doesn’t have to be a one-time event. You can follow up with your parents whenever you have new questions or concerns. It’s important to keep communication open about this topic, as your period is a regular part of your life. This might involve discussing:

• How you are coping with symptoms
• Any concerns you might have
• Adjustments in what period products you are using.

Dealing with Different Reactions

Your parents’ reactions might vary. Some may be excited and supportive, while others might be a bit awkward or unsure how to respond. Here are some possible reactions and how to handle them:

1. Positive and Supportive Reaction

If your parents react positively, that’s great! They might:

• Offer congratulations.
• Provide support and reassurance.
• Take you shopping for sanitary products.
• Share their experiences with their own first periods.

This is the ideal situation, and you can feel comfortable continuing to communicate openly with them about your experiences.

2. Awkward or Embarrassed Reaction

Some parents may feel awkward discussing periods, especially if it’s not something they’ve talked about openly before. They might:

• Be silent or change the subject.
• Seem embarrassed or uncomfortable.
• Stutter or not know what to say.

If this happens, it’s important to remember that their reaction is likely not a reflection of how they feel about you but rather how they feel about the topic. Try to stay calm and give them some space. You can say something like, “It’s okay if this feels weird. I just wanted to let you know.” If they don’t respond immediately, you can gently bring up the topic again later.

3. Overly Concerned Reaction

Some parents may become overly concerned or anxious. They might:

• Ask many questions.
• Become emotional or worried.
• Want to take you to the doctor immediately.

Reassure them that it’s a normal part of growing up. If they want to take you to the doctor for a checkup, that’s okay, but try to explain that this is a typical and natural part of life.

4. Dismissive or Uninterested Reaction

Although less common, some parents might seem dismissive or uninterested. They might:

• Not pay much attention.
• Say it’s not a big deal.
• Change the subject quickly.

If your parents react this way, it can be hurtful, but it’s essential to remember that their reaction doesn’t diminish the importance of what you’re going through. If they are dismissive, try to talk to another trusted adult about your feelings or concerns.

What If You’re Not Comfortable Talking to Your Parents?

If you truly don’t feel comfortable talking to your parents, it’s important to know that you have other options. Here are some alternative trusted adults you could talk to:

1. Another Trusted Adult

This could be:

• An aunt or uncle
• An older sibling or cousin
• A grandparent
• A school nurse
• A teacher or guidance counselor
• A trusted friend’s parent

Choose someone you trust and feel comfortable sharing this information with. They can provide support, guidance, and help you get the products and information you need.

2. School Nurse

Your school nurse is a great resource for any health-related questions or concerns. They can provide advice, answer questions, and help you access sanitary products if needed.

3. Friends

If you feel comfortable, talking to your friends who have started their periods can also be very helpful. You can share experiences, give each other advice, and create a sense of community.

4. Online Resources

There are several reputable websites and resources available that can provide reliable information about periods. These can be a good resource to find answers, read blogs, and feel less alone.

Key Takeaways

• Getting your first period is a normal and natural part of life.
• It’s okay to feel a range of emotions, including nervousness, shyness, and confusion.
• Preparing for the conversation can make you feel more confident.
• Be direct and clear when talking to your parents.
• Communicate your needs clearly.
• Be prepared for different reactions from your parents.
• You have other options if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your parents.

Conclusion

Telling your parents that you started your period is a big step, but it doesn’t have to be a scary one. By preparing, choosing the right time and place, and communicating your needs clearly, you can make this conversation a positive experience. Remember that your parents love and support you and they are there to help you through this new chapter. If you’re not comfortable talking to them, know that there are other trusted adults who can provide the guidance and support you need. Ultimately, your first period is a normal part of life and a sign that your body is growing and changing. Embrace this milestone with confidence and remember, you are not alone.