Dominate the Table: A Comprehensive Guide to Playing ‘President’ (aka ‘Asshole’)
‘President,’ often informally known as ‘Asshole’ (and sometimes many other colorful names!), is a shedding-type card game that’s as strategic as it is social. It’s a game of power dynamics, quick thinking, and a little bit of luck. While the name might be considered vulgar by some, the game itself is a fantastic way to spend an evening with friends, full of laughter, rivalry, and the burning desire to climb to the top of the social hierarchy. This comprehensive guide will walk you through everything you need to know to play, from the basic rules to advanced strategies, ensuring you’re ready to dominate your next game of ‘President’.
## Understanding the Basics
At its core, ‘President’ is a game where players try to get rid of all their cards as quickly as possible. The order in which players empty their hands determines their status in the subsequent round, ranging from the coveted position of ‘President’ to the unfortunate role of ‘Asshole’ (or whatever alternative title your group chooses). This ranking carries significant weight, influencing card distribution and power dynamics in the following game.
### What You Need
* **A Standard Deck of Cards:** A standard 52-card deck is all you need. For larger groups (more than 6-7 players), you might want to use two decks to keep the game flowing.
* **At Least 3 Players:** The game is most enjoyable with 4-6 players, but it can be played with as few as 3.
* **A Flat Surface:** A table or any other flat surface suitable for playing cards.
* **Enthusiasm (and Maybe Some Snacks):** A good attitude and a willingness to embrace the (sometimes ruthless) competition are essential. Snacks and drinks are optional but highly recommended.
### Card Ranking
The card ranking is fairly straightforward, with 3 being the lowest and Ace being the highest. The standard ranking applies:
**3 < 4 < 5 < 6 < 7 < 8 < 9 < 10 < Jack < Queen < King < Ace < 2** Note that in some variations, '2' holds a special power, often being able to clear the entire pile. We'll discuss this in more detail later. ### Setting Up the Game 1. **Shuffle the Deck:** Thoroughly shuffle the deck of cards to ensure a random distribution. 2. **Deal the Cards:** Deal all the cards face down to the players. The number of cards each player receives will depend on the number of players. It's perfectly fine if some players have slightly more cards than others, especially when using one deck for a larger group. The important thing is to distribute all the cards. 3. **Determine the First Player:** In the first round, the player holding the 3 of diamonds (or the lowest card available in the deck if the 3 of diamonds isn't out there) usually goes first. In subsequent rounds, the 'Asshole' (or whatever title is used for the lowest-ranked player) typically goes first. Alternatively, the President of the previous round can lead the first play. ## The Gameplay: How to Shed Your Cards The core mechanic of 'President' involves playing cards in sequential order, beating the previous player's play. Here's a breakdown of the gameplay: 1. **The Lead Play:** The first player (usually determined as described above) leads by playing one or more cards of the same rank (e.g., a single 5, a pair of Queens, a three-of-a-kind of 7s). The number of cards played must be declared (e.g., "One Five," "Two Queens," "Three Sevens"). 2. **Subsequent Plays:** The next player must play the same number of cards of a *higher* rank than the previous play. For example, if the first player played "One Five," the next player must play a single card higher than a 5 (e.g., a 6, 7, 8, etc.). If the first player played "Two Queens," the next player must play two cards higher than Queens (e.g., two Kings, two Aces). Important: You must maintain the *same number* of cards as the initial play to beat it. You cannot respond to a single card with a pair, or a pair with a three-of-a-kind. 3. **Passing:** If a player cannot or chooses not to play a higher card (or set of cards), they must pass. Passing indicates that the player is out of the current round of play. 4. **Clearing the Pile:** When all other players pass in succession after a play, the player who made the last successful play clears the pile by discarding all the cards in the center. This player then leads the next play with any card or combination of cards they choose. 5. **Winning the Round:** The first player to get rid of all their cards is declared the 'President' (or First Place, or whatever your group decides). The second player to get rid of all their cards is the 'Vice President' (or Second Place). The last player to get rid of all their cards is the 'Asshole' (or Last Place). All other players are ranked in between based on the order in which they went out. 6. **Special Cards (Variations):** * **Twos (Bombs or Wild Cards):** In many variations, '2's are considered the highest card and can be played on any other card, clearing the pile immediately. A single 2 can beat any single card, a pair of 2s can beat any pair, and so on. Often, multiple 2s played together are unstoppable, even by other 2s (e.g., three 2s will beat two 2s). * **Eights (Skip Cards):** Some groups play with '8's as skip cards. When an '8' is played, the next player in turn is skipped. * **Sevens (Reverse Direction):** Similar to Eights, some variants use Sevens to reverse the direction of play. * **Jokers (Wild Cards):** If playing with Jokers, they can be used as wild cards to represent any rank, including the rank needed to beat the previous play. They can also sometimes clear the pile. 7. **Ending the Round:** The round ends when all players but one have gotten rid of all their cards. The last player remaining is automatically the 'Asshole' (or the lowest-ranked player). ## The Roles and Responsibilities (The Fun Part!) The ranking of players after each round determines their roles and responsibilities in the next round. This is where the 'social hierarchy' aspect of the game comes into play. * **President (First Place):** The President enjoys several advantages in the next round: * **First Play:** The President typically gets to lead the first play of the next round. * **Card Exchange (Optional):** In some variations, the President can demand the 'Asshole' to give them their *best* card (highest rank), in exchange for a card of the President's choosing (usually their worst card). * **Taxation (Optional):** In another variation, the President receives *two* cards from the 'Asshole' and must return two cards in exchange. The Vice President receives *one* card from the player who came in second-to-last and must return one. * **Vice President (Second Place):** The Vice President also enjoys a slight advantage: * **Card Exchange (Optional):** In some variations where Taxation is in effect, the Vice President receives and gives one card to the second-to-last player. * **Neutral Players:** Players who finish in the middle ranks have no special responsibilities or advantages. * **Asshole (Last Place):** The Asshole (or whatever name is used for the lowest-ranked player) bears the brunt of the disadvantages: * **Dealing the Cards:** The 'Asshole' is usually responsible for shuffling and dealing the cards in the next round. * **Card Exchange (Mandatory):** The 'Asshole' is typically required to give their best card (or two cards, depending on the variation) to the President (and potentially one card to the Vice President) at the beginning of the next round. * **Going First (Sometimes):** The 'Asshole' may also be forced to lead the first play of the next round, regardless of what cards they hold. * **Cleaning Up (Sometimes):** Some groups assign the task of collecting and organizing the cards at the end of the game to the 'Asshole'. ## Strategic Tips and Tricks to Dominate While luck plays a role in 'President,' strategic thinking is crucial to climbing the ranks. Here are some tips to help you dominate the table: * **Card Counting:** Pay attention to the cards that have been played, especially high-ranking cards like Aces and Twos. This will help you anticipate what your opponents might have and make informed decisions about your plays. * **Bluffing:** Don't be afraid to bluff! Sometimes, pretending to have a strong hand can deter other players from challenging you. * **Holding Back High Cards:** Don't immediately play your best cards. Sometimes, it's better to hold onto them until later in the round when you can use them to clear the pile and take control. * **Forcing Passes:** If you have a run of strong cards, try to force other players to pass early in the round. This will increase your chances of clearing the pile and maintaining control. * **Understanding Player Tendencies:** Pay attention to how your opponents play. Some players are aggressive and always try to play their highest cards, while others are more conservative and prefer to hold back. Understanding these tendencies can help you predict their moves and strategize accordingly. * **Strategic Passing:** Sometimes, the best move is to pass. If you have a weak hand or suspect that another player has a stronger hand, passing can save you from wasting valuable cards. * **Manipulating the Lead:** If you are not the President and want to take the lead, try to bait out strong cards from other players early in the round. Once those cards are played, you can capitalize on the opportunity to clear the pile with your own strong cards. * **Card Conservation (Especially as the 'Asshole'):** If you are the 'Asshole,' focus on conserving your best cards for the end of the round. You may not be able to win, but you can try to avoid being stuck with them when you have to hand them over to the President. * **Adapting to Variations:** Be aware of the specific rules and variations being used in your game. The strategy can change significantly depending on whether Twos are wild cards, Eights skip players, or card exchanges are mandatory. * **Reading the Room:** Pay attention to the body language and verbal cues of your opponents. Sometimes, you can glean valuable information about their hands based on their reactions. * **Forming Alliances (Carefully):** While it's ultimately an individual game, temporary alliances can sometimes be beneficial. For example, you might team up with another player to prevent a particularly strong player from dominating. However, be careful not to betray your alliances too quickly, or you might find yourself on the receiving end of their wrath. ## Variations and House Rules 'President' is a highly adaptable game, and many groups have their own variations and house rules. Here are some common variations: * **The Number of Cards Exchanged:** The number of cards exchanged between the President and Asshole (and Vice President and second-to-last player) can vary. Some groups exchange one card, while others exchange two or even three. * **The Order of Card Exchange:** Some groups have the President exchange cards *before* the Asshole deals, allowing the President to see the Asshole's best card before deciding which card to give back. Others have the exchange happen after the deal. * **The Value of Twos:** The power of '2's can vary widely. In some games, they are simply the highest card. In others, they clear the pile automatically. Some games even have different levels of clearing power based on the number of '2's played (e.g., one '2' beats everything, two '2's are unbeatable). * **Special Cards (Eights, Sevens, Jokers):** As mentioned earlier, many groups incorporate special cards like Eights (skip), Sevens (reverse), and Jokers (wild). * **Burning:** Some variations include a "burning" rule. If a player plays four of a kind (e.g., four 7s), the entire pile is burned, and that player gets to lead the next play. * **Going Out on a Specific Card:** Some variations require the President to go out on a specific card, such as a face card or a '2'. This adds an extra layer of challenge and strategy. * **The "Socialist" Variation:** A more extreme variation alters the number of cards exchanged based on consecutive wins or losses. For example, if the President wins three rounds in a row, they might demand two cards from the Asshole and only give back one. Conversely, if the Asshole loses three rounds in a row, they might only have to give one card and receive two. * **Adding or Removing Decks:** For larger groups, you can add a second deck of cards. Conversely, for smaller groups, you can remove certain cards (like all the 3s and 4s) to make the game go faster. Before starting a game, be sure to discuss and agree upon the specific rules and variations that will be used. This will prevent confusion and arguments later on. ## Etiquette and Sportsmanship While 'President' can be a competitive and sometimes ruthless game, it's important to maintain good etiquette and sportsmanship. Here are some tips: * **Be Respectful:** Avoid personal insults or attacks. Remember, it's just a game. * **Don't Gloat Excessively:** Winning is fun, but avoid gloating or rubbing it in other players' faces. * **Be a Good Loser:** Accept your losses gracefully and don't make excuses. * **Follow the Rules:** Adhere to the agreed-upon rules and variations. * **Be Honest:** Don't cheat or try to bend the rules to your advantage. * **Help New Players:** If you're playing with someone who's new to the game, be patient and help them understand the rules. * **Have Fun!** Ultimately, the goal is to have a good time with friends and family. ## Beyond the Basics: Advanced Strategies and Psychology Mastering 'President' requires more than just knowing the rules; it demands a deep understanding of strategy, psychology, and the nuances of your opponents. Here are some advanced concepts to consider: * **The Art of Deception:** Bluffing is a crucial skill. Learn to convincingly portray a strong hand when you have a weak one, and vice versa. Subtle cues, like hesitation or overconfidence, can give you away. Practice your poker face! * **Metagaming:** This involves thinking about the game *outside* of the current hand. Consider your overall standing, your opponents' personalities, and the history of the game. For example, if you know a particular player is prone to aggression, you can use that knowledge to bait them into making mistakes. * **Game Theory:** While you don't need to be a mathematician, a basic understanding of game theory can be helpful. For example, consider the expected value of playing a particular card. Is the potential reward worth the risk? * **Information Asymmetry:** 'President' is a game of imperfect information. You don't know what cards your opponents are holding. Use the information you *do* have (cards played, passes, reactions) to make informed decisions and reduce the uncertainty. * **The Importance of Timing:** The timing of your plays is critical. Sometimes, it's better to hold back a strong card until the opportune moment, when you can maximize its impact. * **Managing Your Resources:** Think of your cards as resources. Don't waste them unnecessarily. Conserve your strong cards for when you need them most. * **Understanding the Endgame:** As the game progresses, the dynamics change. In the endgame, when fewer cards are in play, information becomes more valuable, and the stakes are higher. * **Adapting to Different Playstyles:** Different players have different playstyles. Some are aggressive, some are conservative, and some are unpredictable. Learn to adapt your strategy to your opponents' tendencies. * **Emotional Control:** 'President' can be an emotional game, especially when you're stuck as the 'Asshole'. Learn to control your emotions and avoid making rash decisions based on frustration. ## Final Thoughts: Embrace the Chaos and Have Fun! 'President' is a game that's easy to learn but difficult to master. It's a game of strategy, luck, and social dynamics. Embrace the chaos, experiment with different strategies, and most importantly, have fun! Don't take the game too seriously, and remember that the real goal is to spend quality time with friends and family. So gather your deck of cards, invite some friends over, and get ready to climb the social ladder in this hilarious and addictive card game. Just remember, even if you end up as the 'Asshole,' there's always another round to redeem yourself! Whether you call it 'President,' 'Asshole,' 'Capitalism,' or something else entirely, the core gameplay remains the same: a compelling blend of strategy, luck, and social dynamics that keeps players coming back for more. So, shuffle the deck, deal the cards, and prepare to dominate the table!
