How to Play Kings and Assholes (President): The Ultimate Guide

Kings and Assholes, also known as President, is a classic card game that’s perfect for parties, road trips, or just a fun night in. It’s a game of skill, strategy, and a little bit of luck, where the goal is simple: be the first to get rid of all your cards and become the President! But the real fun comes from the ever-changing hierarchy and the power dynamics that unfold with each round. This comprehensive guide will walk you through everything you need to know to play Kings and Assholes, from the basic rules to advanced strategies that will help you dominate the competition.

## What You Need to Play

* **A Standard Deck of Cards:** A standard 52-card deck is all you need. For larger groups (more than 6-7 players), you might consider using two decks to keep the game flowing smoothly.
* **At Least 3 Players:** The game is best with 4-7 players, but it can be played with as few as 3.
* **A Flat Surface:** A table or any flat surface where you can easily lay out cards.

## The Objective

The objective of Kings and Assholes is to be the first player to get rid of all your cards. The order in which players get rid of their cards determines their rank for the next round. The first player to go out is the President, the last is the Asshole (or Scum, or Toilet, depending on your preferred variation), and the players in between are assigned ranks accordingly (Vice President, Neutral, etc.).

## Setting Up the Game

1. **Shuffle the Deck:** Thoroughly shuffle the deck of cards to ensure a random distribution.
2. **Deal All the Cards:** Deal all the cards face down to the players. It doesn’t matter if some players have slightly more cards than others. The important thing is that all the cards are distributed.

## Card Ranking

The ranking of cards in Kings and Assholes is generally as follows, from lowest to highest:

* 3 (lowest)
* 4
* 5
* 6
* 7
* 8
* 9
* 10
* Jack
* Queen
* King
* Ace
* 2 (highest – usually a “trump” card)

Some variations may adjust the rankings, so it’s always good to clarify before you start playing.

## Gameplay: Round by Round

The gameplay revolves around rounds. Each round consists of players trying to get rid of their cards. The hierarchy established in each round dictates certain advantages and disadvantages in the subsequent round. Here’s a breakdown of how a typical round plays out:

1. **The First Player:** In the first round, the player to the dealer’s left typically starts. In subsequent rounds, the President starts.

2. **Starting the Play:** The first player leads by playing one or more cards of the same rank (e.g., a single 7, two Queens, three 10s). The number of cards played sets the “play.” If the first player plays two Queens, the next player must play two cards of a higher rank.

3. **Following Suit (or Passing):** The next player in clockwise order has two options:
* **Play Higher:** Play the same number of cards of a higher rank than the previous play. For example, if the previous player played two Queens, you could play two Kings or two Aces.
* **Pass:** If you cannot or do not want to play higher, you pass. Once you pass, you are out of the play for that sequence until a clear pile occurs.

4. **Clearing the Pile:** The play continues around the table until all players except one have passed. The last player to play cards successfully clears the pile. They collect the discarded cards and start a new play by leading with any card or combination of cards they choose.

5. **The “2” Card (Trump Card):** The “2” card is usually a trump card. It can be played on top of any other card or combination of cards, clearing the pile immediately. The player who played the “2” starts the next play.

6. **Going Out:** When a player gets rid of all their cards, they are out of the round and assigned their rank (President, Vice President, etc.). They should announce that they are out and then sit out until the next round. Players continue playing until only one player remains. That player is the Asshole.

## The Next Round: Power Dynamics

The real fun of Kings and Assholes comes into play in the subsequent rounds. The ranks from the previous round determine certain advantages and disadvantages:

* **The President:**
* **Goes First:** The President starts the first play of the round.
* **Card Exchange (Optional):** In some variations, the President gets to exchange their two worst cards with the Asshole’s two best cards. The Vice President might exchange one card with the Vice Asshole (the second-to-last player to go out).
* **Can Make Rules (Optional):** In some variations, the President gets to make a rule for the next round. This could be anything from banning a certain card to requiring players to say a specific word before playing a card.
* **The Asshole:**
* **Deals the Cards:** The Asshole is responsible for dealing the cards.
* **Card Exchange (Optional):** The Asshole must give their two best cards to the President (if the card exchange rule is in effect).
* **Serves Drinks (Optional):** In some variations, the Asshole is responsible for serving drinks to the other players.

* **Other Ranks (Vice President, Neutrals, etc.):** These players have fewer specific roles, but their position still matters. They may have minor card exchanges or other advantages/disadvantages depending on the variation.

## Variations and House Rules

Kings and Assholes is a game that’s ripe for variations and house rules. Here are some common variations you might encounter:

* **The Number of Cards Exchanged:** The number of cards exchanged between the President and Asshole can vary. Some play with one card, some with two, and some with even more.
* **The Ranking of Cards:** Some variations change the ranking of cards. For example, some may rank Aces as high cards, but below 2s.
* **The Trump Card:** Some variations use Jokers as trump cards, in addition to or instead of the 2s.
* **Doubles and Triples:** Some variations allow players to play doubles (two cards of the same rank) or triples (three cards of the same rank). This can make the game more dynamic and unpredictable.
* **Burning:** When a player plays four cards of the same rank, the pile is immediately cleared, and that player starts a new play. This is often called “burning” the pile.
* **Revolutions:** In some variations, if a player leads with a “4”, the order of play reverses. This can add an element of chaos to the game.
* **Rules Made by the President:** Allowing the President to make rules for the next round is a popular variation. These rules can be anything from banning talking to requiring players to hop on one foot while playing a card. Get creative!
* **Drinking Rules:** Many variations incorporate drinking rules, making the game even more social. For example, the Asshole might have to take a drink every time they pass, or the President might get to assign drinks to other players.

Before starting a game, it’s always a good idea to discuss and agree on the specific rules and variations you’ll be using.

## Strategies for Success

While luck plays a role in Kings and Assholes, there are several strategies you can use to improve your chances of winning:

* **Card Counting (Sort Of):** Pay attention to the cards that have been played. This will give you an idea of what cards are still in play and help you make informed decisions about when to play your cards.
* **Hold Back Strong Cards:** Don’t be too quick to play your high cards, especially your 2s. Save them for when you really need them to clear the pile or block an opponent.
* **Bluffing:** Don’t be afraid to bluff! Sometimes, it’s worth playing a card that’s slightly lower than what you could play, just to see if you can get other players to pass.
* **Play Strategically Based on Your Position:** If you’re close to going out, focus on getting rid of your remaining cards as quickly as possible. If you’re far from going out, focus on conserving your strong cards and waiting for the right opportunity.
* **Take Advantage of Your Rank:** If you’re the President, use your power wisely. If you’re the Asshole, try to survive and make the best of a bad situation.
* **Observe Your Opponents:** Pay attention to how your opponents play. Are they aggressive or conservative? Do they tend to bluff? The more you know about your opponents, the better you’ll be able to anticipate their moves and adjust your strategy accordingly.
* **Form Alliances (Carefully):** In some games, unspoken alliances can form. Be careful who you align with, as their goals might not always align with yours.
* **Manage Your Hand:** Try to create sets of the same card value when possible. This gives you flexibility when you are required to match the number of cards being played.

## Etiquette and Tips for a Fun Game

* **Be Respectful:** Kings and Assholes can be a competitive game, but it’s important to be respectful of your opponents. Avoid trash-talking or gloating excessively.
* **Be Clear About the Rules:** Make sure everyone understands the rules before you start playing.
* **Be Fair:** Don’t cheat or try to bend the rules to your advantage.
* **Be Patient:** Kings and Assholes can take a while to play, especially with a large group. Be patient and enjoy the ride.
* **Have Fun!** The most important thing is to have fun and enjoy the company of your friends.

## Beyond the Basics: Advanced Strategies

Once you’ve mastered the basic rules, you can delve into some more advanced strategies:

* **Understanding Probability:** While you can’t know exactly what cards your opponents hold, you can make educated guesses based on what cards have already been played. This helps you assess the likelihood of being able to successfully play a certain card or combination of cards.
* **Manipulating the Play:** Skilled players can strategically play cards to force other players into unfavorable positions. For example, playing a single high card might force an opponent to use one of their valuable 2s, leaving them vulnerable later in the round.
* **Controlling the Pace:** By carefully choosing when to clear the pile, you can control the pace of the game and influence who gets to lead the next play. This can be a powerful tool for setting up favorable situations for yourself.
* **Psychological Warfare:** Kings and Assholes is as much a mental game as it is a card game. Observing your opponents’ reactions and using subtle cues to mislead them can give you a significant edge.
* **Adapting to Changing Circumstances:** The dynamics of the game can shift dramatically with each round. Be prepared to adjust your strategy on the fly based on your rank, your opponents’ positions, and the cards you’re dealt.

## Conclusion

Kings and Assholes is a fun, engaging, and endlessly replayable card game that’s sure to provide hours of entertainment. Whether you’re a seasoned card player or a complete beginner, this guide has everything you need to get started. So gather your friends, shuffle the deck, and get ready to experience the thrill of becoming the President (or the humiliation of being the Asshole!). Remember to adapt your strategies, embrace the chaos, and most importantly, have fun!