Choosing the perfect wedding gift can be a delightful yet sometimes daunting task. While traditional registry items and experiences are always appreciated, giving a check as a wedding gift remains a timeless and practical option, particularly for couples starting their new lives together. A check allows the newlyweds the freedom to use the funds as they see fit, whether it’s towards their honeymoon, furnishing their home, or saving for the future. However, the act of writing a check as a wedding gift involves more than just filling in the blanks. Etiquette, presentation, and even the wording you choose can add a personal touch and make your gift truly special. This comprehensive guide will walk you through every step of writing a check as a wedding gift, ensuring your gesture is both thoughtful and well-received.
## Why Give a Check as a Wedding Gift?
Before diving into the ‘how,’ let’s explore the ‘why.’ Giving a check as a wedding gift offers several advantages:
* **Flexibility:** As mentioned, a check provides the ultimate flexibility for the couple. They can decide how best to use the money based on their immediate needs and long-term goals.
* **Practicality:** Many couples already have established households before getting married, meaning they may not need many traditional registry items. A check helps them cover expenses they might not otherwise prioritize, such as down payments, renovations, or even unexpected costs.
* **Convenience:** Especially for guests traveling from afar, giving a check eliminates the hassle of transporting physical gifts.
* **Appropriate for All Relationships:** Whether you’re a close family member, a distant acquaintance, or a coworker, a check is generally an appropriate and appreciated gift.
## Step-by-Step Guide to Writing the Perfect Wedding Gift Check
Now, let’s break down the process of writing a check as a wedding gift into easily manageable steps:
### 1. Determining the Amount: How Much Should You Give?
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of giving a check is deciding on the appropriate amount. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, as several factors influence the decision:
* **Your Relationship to the Couple:** Close family members and close friends typically give more generous gifts than acquaintances or coworkers. Consider your relationship and the role you play in their lives.
* **Your Financial Situation:** It’s crucial to give within your means. Don’t feel pressured to overspend if it will strain your budget. A heartfelt gift, regardless of the amount, is always appreciated.
* **Local Customs and Traditions:** Some cultures have specific traditions regarding wedding gift amounts. Research local customs if you’re unsure.
* **The Cost of the Wedding:** While it’s not a requirement, some guests try to ‘cover their plate,’ meaning they give an amount roughly equivalent to the cost per person for the reception. This information isn’t usually explicitly stated, but you might be able to get a sense from the venue or other guests.
* **Gift-Giving Trends:** While not a rigid rule, current gift-giving trends can provide a general guideline. A good starting point for acquaintances and coworkers is typically $50-$100. For close friends and family, $100-$500 or more is common.
**Pro Tip:** When in doubt, err on the side of generosity if you can afford it. However, remember that the thought and intention behind the gift are what truly matter.
### 2. Filling Out the Check: The Essential Details
Once you’ve decided on the amount, it’s time to fill out the check accurately and legibly.
* **Date:** In the upper right-hand corner, write the current date. Using the date of the wedding is a nice touch, but not essential.
* **Payee:** This is where things can get a little tricky. Ideally, write the full names of both individuals getting married. For example, “John Smith and Jane Doe.” If you’re unsure of the bride’s married name, it’s perfectly acceptable to use “John Smith and Jane Doe” or “John Smith and Jane (Doe) Smith”. Avoid using nicknames unless you’re absolutely certain they prefer them, and even then, using full formal names is generally more appropriate for a wedding gift. If you are only close to one person, write their name first, followed by “and Guest” or “and Partner”. If you know for sure that they’re opening a joint bank account under both names, write both names. Writing “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” is also acceptable after the wedding, but less so before. Consider the check cashing process as well: will both need to endorse the check? Writing both names, regardless of whose account will be used, provides options. If using a wedding specific account that has a specific name listed, use that name. Confirm this with the couple if needed.
* **Amount in Numbers:** In the small box to the right of the payee line, write the numerical amount of the check. Be precise and use numerals clearly. For example, if you’re giving $150, write “$150.00”. Always include the cents, even if it’s zero, to prevent anyone from altering the amount.
* **Amount in Words:** On the line below the payee line, write out the amount of the check in words. Start with the dollar amount, followed by “and” and then the cents expressed as a fraction of one hundred. For example, if you’re giving $150, write “One hundred fifty and 00/100”. This line is crucial because banks use the written amount to verify the numerical amount. If there’s a discrepancy, the bank will typically honor the written amount.
* **Memo Line:** This is the bottom left line on the check. This is where you can add a personal touch. While optional, a thoughtful note can make your gift even more special. Here are some ideas:
* “Wedding Gift”
* “Congratulations!”
* “Best Wishes for a Happy Future!”
* “To a Lifetime of Love and Happiness!”
* “Honeymoon Fund”
* “Starting Our New Life Together”
* “For Your New Home”
* You can also include a more specific message, such as “Enjoy your honeymoon in Italy!” or “Hope this helps with your new kitchen!”
* **Signature:** Sign your check clearly in the bottom right-hand corner. Use your usual signature, ensuring it matches the name on the account. An illegible signature can cause delays or even rejection of the check.
### 3. Presentation: Making Your Gift Extra Special
While the check itself is the primary gift, the presentation can elevate it from practical to truly thoughtful.
* **Card:** A handwritten card is essential. Express your congratulations and best wishes for the couple’s future. Personalize the message to reflect your relationship with them. Share a fond memory, offer words of advice, or simply express your joy for their union. Avoid generic sentiments. Tailor the message to the couple and your specific relationship with them.
* **Envelope:** Choose a high-quality envelope that complements the card. Using a plain white envelope is perfectly acceptable, but consider using a decorative envelope or one that matches the wedding theme if appropriate. Address the envelope to both the bride and groom, using their full names. If you’re unsure of the bride’s married name, use “Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe.” If you know the couple is opening a joint account under both names, using “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” on the envelope after the wedding is also acceptable.
* **Gift Box (Optional):** If you want to go the extra mile, consider placing the card and check inside a small gift box. This adds an extra layer of elegance and makes the gift feel more substantial. A small box with tissue paper or decorative filler can make a big difference.
* **Consider a Small Token Gift (Optional):** In addition to the check, you might consider including a small, thoughtful token gift, especially if you feel the check amount is less than you’d ideally like to give. This could be a small framed photo, a personalized ornament, or a small item from their registry. This shows that you put thought and effort into your gift beyond just the monetary value.
### 4. Delivery: Getting Your Gift to the Couple
Now that you’ve written and presented your check beautifully, it’s important to ensure it reaches the couple safely and promptly.
* **At the Wedding Reception:** If you’re attending the wedding reception, most venues will have a designated gift table or card box. Place your gift in the designated area. Avoid handing the gift directly to the bride or groom, as they’ll be busy greeting guests.
* **Mailing the Gift:** If you’re unable to attend the wedding or prefer to send the gift in advance, mail it to the address provided on the invitation or wedding website. It’s always a good idea to mail the gift a few weeks before the wedding to ensure it arrives on time and avoids the last-minute rush. Use a trackable shipping method to confirm delivery.
* **Wedding Registry Address:** Some wedding registries allow gifts to be shipped directly to the couple’s address. If this is an option, you can send the check directly to the address listed on the registry.
* **Hand Delivery (If Appropriate):** If you’re very close to the couple and live nearby, you might consider hand-delivering the gift. This is a more personal option, but make sure to coordinate with the couple beforehand to ensure they’re available.
### 5. Addressing Potential Concerns and Questions
Giving a check as a wedding gift can sometimes raise questions or concerns. Here’s how to address them:
* **Is it Impersonal?** Some people worry that giving a check is impersonal. However, as long as you include a thoughtful card and present the gift nicely, it’s perfectly acceptable. The flexibility and practicality of a check often outweigh any perceived lack of personalization.
* **What if I Don’t Know the Couple Well?** If you’re invited to a wedding but don’t know the couple well, a check is a safe and appropriate option. It avoids the risk of giving a gift they don’t need or won’t use. A smaller amount is perfectly acceptable in this situation.
* **What if They Have a Registry?** Even if the couple has a registry, it’s still perfectly acceptable to give a check. Many couples appreciate having the flexibility to use the funds as they see fit, even if they have specific items on their registry. Consider the items remaining on the registry: if only a few big ticket items are left, a check allows the couple to apply cash gifts and purchase these larger items.
* **How to Handle Thank You Notes:** Expect to receive a thank-you note from the couple within a reasonable timeframe (usually a few weeks after the wedding). If you don’t receive a thank-you note, it’s polite to follow up to ensure they received your gift.
## Alternatives to Giving a Check
While a check is a classic and practical option, here are some alternative ways to give money as a wedding gift:
* **Cash:** Cash is essentially the same as a check, but it can feel less formal. If you choose to give cash, present it in a crisp, new envelope and include a heartfelt card.
* **Gift Cards:** Gift cards to popular stores or restaurants can be a good option, especially if you know the couple’s tastes and preferences. Choose gift cards to places they frequent or that align with their interests.
* **Experiences:** Instead of a physical gift, consider gifting an experience, such as a cooking class, a wine tasting, or a weekend getaway. This can create lasting memories for the couple.
* **Donation to Charity:** If the couple has requested donations to a specific charity in lieu of gifts, honor their wishes and make a donation in their name. Include a card explaining your donation and why you chose that particular charity.
* **Online Wedding Funds:** Many couples set up online wedding funds to collect contributions for specific goals, such as their honeymoon, a new home, or a charitable cause. These funds often allow you to contribute directly online, making the process convenient and secure.
## Writing the Check: Special Scenarios
Here are some special scenarios and how to handle them when writing a wedding gift check:
* **Destination Wedding:** For destination weddings, giving a check is often the most practical option, as it eliminates the hassle of transporting physical gifts internationally. A slightly more generous amount may be appropriate to help offset the couple’s travel expenses.
* **Second Marriage:** For second marriages, the etiquette surrounding gift-giving can be more relaxed. If the couple already has established households, a smaller gift or a check is perfectly acceptable.
* **Elopement:** If the couple elopes and has a small celebration later, you can still give a wedding gift. A check or a thoughtful card is a lovely gesture.
* **Same-Sex Marriage:** The etiquette for giving a wedding gift to a same-sex couple is the same as for any other wedding. Follow the same guidelines for determining the amount and presenting the gift.
## Examples of Memo Line Wording
Here are some more specific examples of what you can write on the memo line of your check:
* “For Your Dream Honeymoon!”
* “Towards Your New Home Fund”
* “Wishing You a Lifetime of Happiness Together”
* “Congratulations, [Couple’s Names]!”
* “To Many Years of Love and Laughter”
* “Celebrating Your Special Day”
* “With Love and Best Wishes”
## Final Thoughts
Writing a check as a wedding gift is a thoughtful and practical way to celebrate a couple’s union. By following these guidelines, you can ensure your gift is both well-received and appreciated. Remember to personalize your card, present the gift nicely, and choose an amount that is appropriate for your relationship with the couple and your financial situation. With a little thought and effort, you can make your check a truly special and memorable wedding gift. Remember that the best gift is one that comes from the heart. Your genuine well wishes and support for the couple’s future together are the most important aspects of any wedding gift, regardless of the monetary value.
By giving a check, you’re not just giving money; you’re giving the gift of choice, flexibility, and the opportunity for the couple to build their future together on their own terms. It’s a gesture that will undoubtedly be appreciated and remembered for years to come. So, go ahead, write that check with confidence, knowing that you’re contributing to the start of a beautiful new chapter in the couple’s lives.