This or That for Couples: Fun Questions to Spark Connection and Conversation

Are you looking for a fun and easy way to reconnect with your partner, learn more about their preferences, or simply inject some lightheartedness into your relationship? Look no further than the classic game of “This or That!” This simple yet engaging game involves presenting your partner with two options and asking them to choose which one they prefer. It’s a fantastic way to uncover hidden preferences, spark interesting conversations, and strengthen your bond.

This article provides a comprehensive guide to using “This or That” questions to enhance your relationship, including detailed steps, instructions, and plenty of example questions to get you started. Let’s dive in!

## Why Play “This or That” with Your Partner?

Before we delve into the how-to, let’s explore the benefits of incorporating “This or That” into your relationship:

* **Spark Conversation:** “This or That” questions can act as conversation starters, leading to deeper discussions about your values, beliefs, and interests. It’s a low-pressure way to explore new topics and learn things you might not otherwise discover.
* **Discover Preferences:** Uncover your partner’s likes and dislikes, even the subtle ones. You might be surprised by their choices! This knowledge can help you plan dates, choose gifts, or simply understand them better.
* **Lighthearted Fun:** It’s a playful and engaging way to spend time together, reducing stress and fostering laughter. A little fun can go a long way in strengthening your connection.
* **Enhance Intimacy:** Some “This or That” questions can be more intimate, allowing you to explore each other’s desires and fantasies in a safe and comfortable environment. This can lead to increased emotional and physical intimacy.
* **Resolve Minor Disagreements:** Sometimes, you might have small disagreements about everyday things. “This or That” can help you understand why your partner prefers one thing over another, leading to compromises and solutions.
* **Relieve Boredom:** If you’re stuck in a rut or simply looking for something new to do together, “This or That” is a great way to break the monotony and add some excitement to your routine.

## How to Play “This or That” for Couples: A Step-by-Step Guide

Playing “This or That” is incredibly simple. Here’s a step-by-step guide to get you started:

**Step 1: Set the Mood**

* **Choose a comfortable and relaxed setting:** Pick a place where you can both relax and focus on each other. This could be your living room, bedroom, a cozy café, or even a scenic park.
* **Minimize distractions:** Turn off the TV, silence your phones (or put them on Do Not Disturb), and let each other know that you’re dedicating this time to each other.
* **Grab a drink and some snacks (optional):** Having something to sip on and munch on can make the experience even more enjoyable and relaxed.

**Step 2: Prepare Your Questions**

* **Brainstorm a list of “This or That” questions:** We’ll provide plenty of examples later in this article, but feel free to come up with your own based on your relationship and shared interests.
* **Consider different categories:** To keep things interesting, categorize your questions into different themes, such as food, travel, hobbies, movies, music, and personal preferences.
* **Balance lighthearted and thought-provoking questions:** Mix fun and silly questions with those that require a bit more reflection to encourage a variety of responses and conversations.
* **Write down your questions or use a pre-made list:** Having a list prepared beforehand will make the game flow more smoothly. You can write them on paper, type them into your phone, or use a “This or That” app (if you prefer).

**Step 3: Take Turns Asking Questions**

* **Decide who goes first:** You can flip a coin, play rock-paper-scissors, or simply take turns asking the first question.
* **Clearly state the question:** Present the two options clearly and concisely.
* **Answer honestly and explain your choice:** Don’t just say “This” or “That.” Explain why you prefer one option over the other. This is where the real conversation begins!
* **Listen attentively to your partner’s response:** Show genuine interest in their reasons and ask follow-up questions to learn more.
* **Take turns asking questions:** Continue taking turns asking questions, allowing each person ample opportunity to share their thoughts and preferences.

**Step 4: Engage in Conversation**

* **Don’t just ask and answer:** The goal is to spark conversation and connection. Use each question as a springboard for deeper discussions.
* **Ask follow-up questions:** Dig deeper into your partner’s reasoning. Ask “Why do you feel that way?” or “Tell me more about that.”
* **Share your own experiences and perspectives:** Relate your own experiences to your partner’s responses to build rapport and understanding.
* **Be respectful of your partner’s opinions:** Even if you disagree, listen respectfully and try to understand their point of view. Avoid judgment or criticism.

**Step 5: Keep it Fun and Lighthearted**

* **Don’t take it too seriously:** Remember, this is just a game! Relax, have fun, and enjoy the process of learning more about each other.
* **Inject humor into the conversation:** Share funny anecdotes or make lighthearted jokes to keep the mood positive and engaging.
* **Don’t dwell on disagreements:** If you find yourselves disagreeing on a particular question, move on to the next one to avoid conflict.
* **End on a positive note:** Finish the game with a compliment, a loving gesture, or a plan for a future date night.

## “This or That” Question Ideas for Couples: Categories and Examples

To get you started, here’s a comprehensive list of “This or That” questions for couples, categorized by theme:

### **Food & Drink:**

* Sweet or Savory?
* Coffee or Tea?
* Pizza or Pasta?
* Chocolate or Vanilla?
* Cake or Pie?
* Burgers or Tacos?
* Ice Cream or Frozen Yogurt?
* Wine or Beer?
* Spicy or Mild?
* Home-cooked Meal or Restaurant Dining?
* Breakfast in Bed or Brunch Out?
* Sushi or Steak?
* Smoothie or Milkshake?
* Chips and Salsa or Guacamole?
* Pizza with Pineapple or No Pineapple?

### **Travel & Adventure:**

* Beach Vacation or Mountain Getaway?
* City Exploration or Nature Retreat?
* Road Trip or Plane Ride?
* Camping or Glamping?
* Luxury Hotel or Cozy Cabin?
* Theme Park or Museum?
* Relaxing by the Pool or Hiking a Trail?
* Tropical Island or European City?
* Adventure Sports or Sightseeing?
* Spontaneous Trip or Planned Itinerary?
* Staying in One Place or Hopping Around?
* All-Inclusive Resort or Independent Travel?
* Backpacking or Luxury Travel?
* Cruise or Land Tour?
* Visiting Ancient Ruins or Modern Metropolis?

### **Movies & Entertainment:**

* Action Movie or Romantic Comedy?
* Horror Movie or Thriller?
* Documentary or Animated Film?
* Netflix or Hulu?
* Going to the Movies or Streaming at Home?
* Live Concert or Broadway Show?
* Comedy Club or Jazz Bar?
* Reading a Book or Watching TV?
* Board Games or Video Games?
* Dancing or Singing Karaoke?
* Big Party or Intimate Gathering?
* Watching Sports or Playing Sports?
* Listening to Music or Podcasts?
* Going to a Museum or an Art Gallery?
* Trying a New Restaurant or Cooking at Home?

### **Music & Art:**

* Pop Music or Rock Music?
* Classical Music or Electronic Music?
* Country Music or Hip Hop Music?
* Live Music or Recorded Music?
* Going to a Concert or Listening to Music at Home?
* Painting or Drawing?
* Sculpture or Photography?
* Visiting an Art Museum or Creating Your Own Art?
* Listening to Audiobooks or Reading Physical Books?
* Attending a Theater Play or Watching a Movie?
* Creating Music or Listening to Music?
* Abstract Art or Realistic Art?
* Jazz or Blues?
* Indie Music or Mainstream Music?
* Going to a Music Festival or Attending a Classical Concert?

### **Hobbies & Interests:**

* Reading or Writing?
* Gardening or Cooking?
* Playing Sports or Watching Sports?
* Traveling or Staying Home?
* Hiking or Biking?
* Photography or Videography?
* Collecting Things or Decluttering?
* Learning New Languages or Studying History?
* Volunteering or Working?
* Attending Workshops or Taking Online Courses?
* Doing DIY Projects or Hiring Professionals?
* Building Things or Fixing Things?
* Playing Musical Instruments or Singing?
* Knitting or Crocheting?
* Gaming or Puzzles?

### **Personal Preferences & Values:**

* Early Bird or Night Owl?
* Introvert or Extrovert?
* Spontaneous or Organized?
* Optimist or Realist?
* Giving Gifts or Receiving Gifts?
* Words of Affirmation or Acts of Service?
* Quality Time or Physical Touch?
* Being Right or Being Happy?
* Spending Money or Saving Money?
* Big Wedding or Small Wedding?
* Traditional or Modern?
* Following the Rules or Breaking the Rules?
* Speaking Your Mind or Holding Back?
* Being in Control or Letting Go?
* Planning Ahead or Living in the Moment?

### **Relationship & Intimacy (Use these with sensitivity and respect):**

* Giving Massages or Receiving Massages?
* Cuddling or Kissing?
* Long Walks or Deep Talks?
* Surprise Dates or Planned Dates?
* Passionate Kisses or Gentle Caresses?
* Trying New Things or Sticking to What You Know?
* Expressing Your Love Verbally or Through Actions?
* Giving Compliments or Receiving Compliments?
* Spontaneous Intimacy or Scheduled Intimacy?
* Playing Games Together or Just Talking?
* Staying In or Going Out?
* Lingerie or Pajamas?
* Public Displays of Affection or Private Moments?
* Romantic Getaways or Staycations?
* Giving Gifts or Creating Experiences?

### **Silly & Fun:**

* Being Invisible or Flying?
* Talking to Animals or Understanding All Languages?
* Having Super Strength or Super Speed?
* Winning the Lottery or Finding True Love?
* Living in the Past or Living in the Future?
* Always Being Right or Never Being Wrong?
* Having a Personal Chef or a Personal Masseuse?
* Being Able to Breathe Underwater or Being Able to Teleport?
* Always Having Perfect Hair or Always Having Perfect Skin?
* Having a Time Machine or Having a Magic Carpet?
* Being the Funniest Person in the Room or Being the Smartest Person in the Room?
* Having a Personal Robot Butler or Having a Personal Dragon?
* Living in a Treehouse or Living in a Castle?
* Having a Pet Unicorn or Having a Pet Dragon?
* Being Able to Read Minds or Being Able to Control the Weather?

## Tips for Creating Your Own “This or That” Questions

* **Consider your partner’s interests:** Tailor the questions to their hobbies, passions, and areas of expertise.
* **Think about inside jokes:** Include questions that reference shared experiences or funny moments in your relationship.
* **Be mindful of sensitive topics:** Avoid questions that could be triggering or hurtful.
* **Don’t be afraid to get creative:** The more unique and imaginative your questions are, the more engaging the game will be.
* **Keep it positive and respectful:** The goal is to have fun and strengthen your bond, not to create conflict.

## Adaptations and Variations

* **”Would You Rather?”:** Similar to “This or That,” but often involves more hypothetical and sometimes outrageous scenarios.
* **”Two Truths and a Lie”:** Each person shares three statements about themselves – two true and one false. The other person has to guess which statement is the lie.
* **”Never Have I Ever”:** Each person takes turns saying something they’ve never done. Anyone who *has* done it takes a sip of their drink or performs a small action.
* **”Most Likely To”:** Each person nominates their partner (or themselves) for different “Most Likely To” scenarios (e.g., “Most Likely to Win the Lottery,” “Most Likely to Start a Dance Party”).

## Common Mistakes to Avoid

* **Asking too many serious questions in a row:** Keep the mood light and playful by mixing serious questions with fun ones.
* **Becoming defensive or argumentative:** Remember, this is just a game. Avoid getting into heated debates over minor preferences.
* **Not listening attentively to your partner’s responses:** Show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.
* **Making it all about yourself:** Take turns asking questions and giving your partner ample opportunity to share their perspective.
* **Rushing through the questions:** Take your time and savor the conversation.

## Conclusion

“This or That” is a versatile and enjoyable game that can significantly enhance your relationship. By using the tips and examples provided in this article, you can create meaningful conversations, uncover hidden preferences, and strengthen your bond with your partner. So, gather your questions, set the mood, and get ready for a fun and engaging experience that will bring you closer together. Remember to adapt the questions to your unique relationship and above all, have fun! This simple game can unlock new levels of understanding and connection, making your relationship even stronger and more fulfilling.

Now go out there and start playing! You might be surprised at what you discover about your partner, and even more surprised at what you discover about yourself. Enjoy!