Skyrim, the vast and immersive land of dragons, magic, and adventure, offers more than just quests and battles. It also provides the opportunity to find love and get married! For players seeking a deeper connection within the game, marriage is a fulfilling and engaging feature. This comprehensive guide will walk you through every step of getting married in Skyrim, from finding the right partner to exchanging vows and enjoying married life.
I. Understanding the Marriage System in Skyrim
Marriage in Skyrim is a relatively straightforward process, but understanding the underlying mechanics will ensure a smooth and successful union. Here’s a breakdown of key aspects:
- Eligibility: You can marry any eligible NPC (Non-Player Character) regardless of race or gender. The primary requirement is that they must have a positive disposition towards you.
- Amulet of Mara: This is the key item required to propose marriage. It signals your availability for marriage to eligible NPCs.
- Temple of Mara: The wedding ceremony takes place in the Temple of Mara in Riften.
- Benefits of Marriage: Marriage offers several benefits, including a shared home, a daily income, and a companion who can assist you in your adventures.
- Divorce: Unfortunately, Skyrim doesn’t offer a divorce option. Think carefully before committing!
II. Acquiring the Amulet of Mara
The Amulet of Mara is your ticket to marital bliss in Skyrim. Here’s how to obtain it:
- Travel to Riften: Riften is located in the southeastern corner of Skyrim. It’s a city known for its Thieves Guild and its connection to the goddess Mara, who embodies love and compassion.
- Find Maramal: Maramal is a priest of Mara who can usually be found in the Temple of Mara or the Bee and Barb inn. He’s easily identifiable by his robes and his role as a religious figure.
- Speak to Maramal: Initiate a conversation with Maramal. Ask him about Mara and the Temple of Mara. He will explain the significance of marriage in Skyrim and the importance of love and commitment.
- Purchase the Amulet: After your conversation, Maramal will offer to sell you the Amulet of Mara for 200 gold. Accept his offer and purchase the amulet.
- (Alternative Method) Find a Random Amulet: While purchasing the amulet from Maramal is the most reliable method, you can sometimes find an Amulet of Mara as random loot in dungeons, chests, or on defeated enemies. However, this is less predictable.
III. Finding a Suitable Spouse
Choosing a spouse is a significant decision, even in Skyrim. Consider these factors when selecting your life partner:
- Disposition: The NPC must have a positive disposition towards you. This is usually achieved by completing a quest for them or performing a favor.
- Location: Consider where the NPC resides. After marriage, they may move into your home, or you may choose to live in their location.
- Skills and Abilities: Some spouses are skilled warriors, mages, or thieves. Consider their skills and how they might complement your own.
- Personality: While Skyrim NPCs don’t have incredibly complex personalities, pay attention to their dialogue and interactions to get a sense of their character.
- Essential NPCs: Be aware that you cannot marry essential NPCs (those crucial to the main storyline).
Potential Spouse Candidates (Examples):
- Aela the Huntress (Whiterun): A skilled archer and warrior, Aela is a member of the Companions.
- Lydia (Whiterun): Your first housecarl, Lydia is a loyal and dependable warrior.
- Mjoll the Lioness (Riften): A strong and independent warrior who fights for justice.
- Brelyna Maryon (College of Winterhold): A talented mage studying at the College of Winterhold.
- Ysolda (Whiterun): A resourceful merchant who dreams of becoming a successful trader.
- Camilla Valerius (Riverwood): A shopkeeper with a kind heart.
- Jenassa (Whiterun): A mercenary for hire at the Drunken Huntsman in Whiterun.
- Argis the Bulwark (Markarth): A housecarl.
- Rayya (Falkreath): A housecarl.
- Iona (Riften): A housecarl.
How to Determine Eligibility:
- Complete Quests: The most common way to make an NPC eligible for marriage is to complete a quest they give you. This demonstrates your willingness to help them and builds a positive relationship.
- Perform Favors: Sometimes, simply performing a small favor for an NPC, such as giving them an item they need, can be enough to improve their disposition towards you.
- Check Dialogue Options: Once you’ve completed a quest or performed a favor, equip the Amulet of Mara and speak to the NPC. If they are eligible for marriage, a dialogue option will appear that asks if they are interested in you.
IV. Proposing Marriage
Once you’ve found a suitable spouse and obtained the Amulet of Mara, it’s time to pop the question! Follow these steps:
- Equip the Amulet of Mara: This is crucial! The Amulet of Mara signals your availability for marriage.
- Speak to Your Chosen NPC: Initiate a conversation with the NPC you wish to marry.
- Look for the Marriage Dialogue Option: With the Amulet of Mara equipped, a new dialogue option should appear. It will typically be something like, “Are you interested in me?” or “I’m interested in you.” The exact wording may vary depending on the NPC.
- Propose Marriage: Select the marriage dialogue option. The NPC will respond, usually expressing surprise and delight.
- Acceptance: If the NPC accepts your proposal, they will tell you to meet them at the Temple of Mara in Riften for the wedding ceremony.
Troubleshooting: No Marriage Dialogue Option?
- Amulet Equipped? Double-check that you have the Amulet of Mara equipped. It needs to be actively worn for the marriage dialogue option to appear.
- Relationship Requirements: Ensure you’ve completed the necessary quests or favors to improve the NPC’s disposition towards you.
- Bug/Glitch: Skyrim is known for its occasional bugs. Try reloading an earlier save or restarting the game.
- Incompatible Mods: If you’re using mods, some may interfere with the marriage system. Try disabling mods one by one to see if any are causing the issue.
V. The Wedding Ceremony
With the proposal accepted, it’s time to prepare for your wedding in the Temple of Mara in Riften. Here’s what to expect:
- Travel to the Temple of Mara: The Temple of Mara is located in Riften. If you’re unsure of its location, ask a guard for directions.
- Speak to Maramal: Find Maramal inside the Temple of Mara. He will be the officiant for your wedding ceremony.
- Inform Maramal of Your Wedding: Tell Maramal that you are ready to get married. He will confirm that your chosen spouse is also present and ready.
- The Ceremony Begins: Maramal will begin the wedding ceremony. Listen to his vows and pay attention to the dialogue.
- Exchange Vows: You and your spouse will exchange vows, promising to love and cherish each other.
- The Marriage is Complete: After the vows are exchanged, Maramal will pronounce you husband and wife (or husband and husband, or wife and wife, depending on your characters).
- Congratulations! Your spouse will express their happiness, and you are now officially married in Skyrim.
Attending the Wedding:
- Guests: A few NPCs who are friendly towards you may attend the wedding ceremony. These are usually characters you’ve helped or interacted with positively.
- Dress Code: There is no specific dress code for the wedding. You can wear whatever armor or clothing you prefer. However, many players choose to wear formal attire for the occasion.
- Time Sensitive: It’s important to attend the wedding ceremony soon after proposing. If you wait too long, the ceremony may be cancelled, and you’ll have to propose again. Generally, attend the ceremony within 24 in-game hours.
Wedding Glitches: What to Do if Something Goes Wrong
- Spouse Doesn’t Appear: If your spouse doesn’t appear at the Temple of Mara, try waiting inside the temple for a few hours (in-game time). If they still don’t appear, try leaving the temple and re-entering.
- Maramal Doesn’t Initiate Ceremony: If Maramal doesn’t initiate the ceremony, try speaking to him multiple times. If that doesn’t work, try leaving the temple and re-entering.
- Ceremony Freezes: If the ceremony freezes or glitches, try reloading an earlier save.
VI. Life After Marriage: Benefits and Responsibilities
Marriage in Skyrim offers several benefits, but it also comes with certain responsibilities. Here’s what you can expect after tying the knot:
- Shared Home: You can choose to live in your spouse’s house or ask them to move into your house. If you own multiple properties, you can choose which one to live in.
- Spouse as a Follower: Your spouse can become a follower, accompanying you on your adventures and assisting you in combat. This is a significant advantage, especially if your spouse is a skilled warrior or mage.
- Home-Cooked Meal: Once a day, your spouse will offer you a home-cooked meal. This meal provides a temporary buff that increases your health, stamina, and magicka regeneration.
- Shopkeeping: Your spouse will open a shop and generate a small amount of income each day. You can collect this income by speaking to them.
- Gifts: Occasionally, your spouse will give you gifts, such as potions, ingredients, or other useful items.
- Sleeping Bonus: Sleeping in the same bed as your spouse will grant you the “Well Rested” bonus, which increases your skill learning rate.
Choosing a Home:
- Your House: If you own a house, you can ask your spouse to move in with you. This allows you to customize the house to your liking and display your trophies and collections.
- Spouse’s House: Alternatively, you can choose to live in your spouse’s house. This is a good option if you don’t own a house or if you prefer your spouse’s location.
- Moving Between Homes: You can move your spouse between different houses that you own by speaking to them and asking them to move.
Potential Issues:
- Kidnapping: In rare cases, your spouse may be kidnapped by bandits or other enemies. You’ll need to rescue them to ensure their safety.
- Death: If your spouse dies, they are permanently dead. There is no way to resurrect them in the base game.
- Compatibility Issues: In rare cases, spouses added by mods might cause compatibility issues.
VII. Expanding Your Family (Adoption – Hearthfire DLC)
If you have the Hearthfire DLC installed, you can adopt children and expand your family in Skyrim. Here’s how:
- Build a House with a Children’s Bedroom: To adopt children, you need to have a house with a children’s bedroom. You can build this yourself if you have a plot of land and the necessary materials (obtained through the Hearthfire DLC).
- Visit Honorhall Orphanage: The Honorhall Orphanage is located in Riften. Speak to the headmistress, Grelod the Kind (initially, but after a quest, Constance Michel).
- Adopt a Child: If you have a suitable home, you can adopt a child from the orphanage. There are several children to choose from, each with their own unique backstory.
- (Alternative) Adopt Orphans Found Elsewhere: Sometimes, you can find orphaned children in other locations throughout Skyrim. If you have a suitable home, you can adopt them as well.
- Care for Your Children: Once you’ve adopted children, you’ll need to care for them. This includes providing them with food, clothing, and toys. You can also play games with them and teach them new skills.
Benefits of Adoption:
- Family Life: Adoption adds a new layer of depth to your Skyrim experience, allowing you to experience the joys of family life.
- Gifts from Children: Your children will occasionally give you gifts, such as drawings or small items.
- Home Decorating: Your children may ask you to decorate their room or build them new furniture.
VIII. Troubleshooting Common Marriage Issues
Skyrim, while a fantastic game, is not without its bugs and glitches. Here are some common marriage-related issues and how to troubleshoot them:
- Spouse Disappears: If your spouse disappears, try waiting in your house for a few days (in-game time). If they still don’t reappear, try checking their original location. If all else fails, you may need to reload an earlier save.
- Spouse Won’t Move In: If your spouse refuses to move into your house, make sure you’ve spoken to them about it and that you have a bed available for them. If the issue persists, try reloading an earlier save.
- Marriage Quest Glitches: If the marriage quest glitches, try reloading an earlier save or restarting the game. You can also try using console commands (if you’re playing on PC) to advance the quest.
- Mod Conflicts: If you’re using mods, some may conflict with the marriage system. Try disabling mods one by one to see if any are causing the issue.
- Stuck in Wedding Ceremony: If you are stuck in the wedding ceremony after the pronouncement, try fast traveling. If that doesn’t work, reload the save from right before you initiated the ceremony.
IX. Console Commands for Marriage (PC Only)
If you’re playing Skyrim on PC, you can use console commands to troubleshoot marriage-related issues or even force a marriage with an NPC. However, be aware that using console commands can sometimes lead to unexpected consequences, so use them with caution.
Common Marriage-Related Console Commands:
- `player.addfac 19809 1`: Adds the player to the potential marriage faction.
- `setrelationshiprank player [NPC RefID] 4`: Sets the relationship rank between the player and the NPC to 4 (lover). Replace `[NPC RefID]` with the NPC’s RefID. You can find the NPC’s RefID by opening the console, clicking on the NPC, and noting the code that appears.
- `addfac 5C84D 1`: Makes the NPC marriageable.
- `resetquest RelationshipMarriage`: Resets the marriage quest.
- `setstage RelationshipMarriage 10`: Advances the marriage quest to stage 10 (ready to start the wedding ceremony).
Important Notes:
- Backup Your Save: Before using console commands, it’s always a good idea to back up your save file. This will allow you to revert to a previous state if something goes wrong.
- Use with Caution: Console commands can have unintended consequences. Use them sparingly and only when necessary.
- NPC RefIDs: Be sure to use the correct RefID for the NPC you’re targeting. Using the wrong RefID can lead to unexpected results.
X. Marriage and Roleplaying
Marriage in Skyrim offers excellent opportunities for roleplaying. Consider these ideas to enhance your marital experience:
- Develop Your Spouse’s Backstory: Even though Skyrim NPCs don’t have incredibly detailed backstories, you can create your own. Think about their past, their motivations, and their dreams.
- Create a Family Narrative: If you have the Hearthfire DLC, develop a narrative for your family. Think about your children’s personalities, their aspirations, and their relationships with each other.
- Roleplay Everyday Life: Take the time to roleplay everyday activities with your spouse and children. This could include cooking meals, decorating your home, or simply spending time together.
- Incorporate Marriage into Your Character’s Goals: Consider how marriage affects your character’s goals and motivations. Does it change their priorities? Does it influence their decisions?
- Write a Journal or Story: Keep a journal or write a story about your character’s marital life. This can be a fun and creative way to immerse yourself in the game.
XI. Conclusion: A Lifelong Commitment (in Skyrim)
Marriage in Skyrim is a rewarding and engaging feature that adds depth and complexity to the game. Whether you’re seeking a loyal companion, a shared home, or a chance to experience family life, marriage offers a unique and fulfilling experience. By following the steps outlined in this guide, you can find love, tie the knot, and embark on a new chapter in your Skyrim adventure. Remember to choose wisely, treat your spouse with respect, and enjoy the benefits of a happy and fulfilling marriage in the land of dragons and magic.